Too Late
by Stahlfan125
Summary: Shannon realizes that she loves Boone, but it's too late.


Yet another Boone and Shannon story in which Shannon finds out that Boone is dead. Please review, and please enjoy!

* * *

**Too Late**

"God, that was the best day _ever_," Shannon said with a smile, her hand in Sayid's. His fingers tightened on her own, and he smiled at her lovingly. Shannon smiled back and averted her eyes, blushing slightly. She was so glad she had told him about Boone. Now she could just…move on and do what she wanted. Boone just wasn't a part of her life anymore, just like she apparently wasn't a part of his.

* * *

She had wanted to make up with him. She really did. She had wanted to make things better so that she could talk to him about everything just like she used to, and he would listen. She was so happy back then, when she was in high school, because she could tell him _anything _and she always knew that he would listen to her. But then…things had gotten out of control. She had gotten greedy and she had tricked him into giving her money. Then, when he was starting to wonder what she did with it all, she started conning him out of it.

And it was all because he loved her. He would do _anything _for her, because he loved her. Which made Shannon happy, even though it had creeped her out a little bit in the beginning. She was thirteen when she realized that Boone didn't just love her as a sister. Up until she was fifteen, she avoided him as much as possible, but on her fifteenth birthday, he took her out to eat and to a movie. During the movie, she snuggled against him during a sad, romantic, sappy part, and she realized that she liked the way he felt. And it wasn't like they were really related. So she started going to movies with him more often. When they were home alone, they would lie on the couch together and watch a movie, with her in his arms, head resting against his chest.

Oddly enough, he would never try anything else. At first, Shannon thought it was because he was too scared, but as time wore on, and he still just contented himself with having her against him like that, she realized that that was all he wanted. Because even though he loved her, he knew that she didn't feel the same way, and he was going to take whatever he could get. He didn't want to push her away by trying anything else.

But then, their parents had found them watching a movie one time, and they had thought that they were 'doing something else'. They never lay together like that again, and Shannon began to miss it. She missed it so much that she used every excuse that she could to get Boone alone. But he never suggested that they watch a movie. He thought that he had scared her, and so he stayed away. Shannon, with her pride, wouldn't let him think otherwise.

Of course, after a while, she moved on to other guys, once she gave up on Boone. She got sick of him, conned him for money, and let him think that she needed him. He never had a clue that she was just using him, until he went to Sydney to 'rescue' her from Brian, a man she had picked up to do a con with. Boone, as expected, had paid off the man, but then he found out about her scam, and left the house in an angry huff (after nearly getting beaten to a pulp by Brian first.)

She had worried about him, after he left. She yelled at Brian for hurting him, and told him that she hated him. He had left with the money, and she had gotten drunk because she was scared that Boone hated her and would never talk to her again. Being drunk and unable to make a good judgment, she went to his hotel, and seduced him. As soon as he opened the door and let her in, she knew that he didn't hate her. And that made her so happy, that she decided that she was tired of everything, and she and Boone spent the night together.

When she woke up the next morning, she was the most comfortable that she had ever been. She was lying in Boone's arms, with his chin resting on her head, and her arm sprawled over him. But as soon as she realized that it was _Boone_, and that she had _enjoyed _it, she jumped up and bitched at Boone, acting like nothing had happened. She had even suggested that they go back to the way they were, and they pretend that everything was normal. Because she didn't want to feel what she was feeling. She didn't want to love him the way she thought she did. And she knew that it hurt him worse than anything ever could to have her say that, because he thought, for one night, that she could be his.

And, believe it or not, she hated to crush him like that.

* * *

When they crashed one the island, she really thought that her life was over. Only, there was Boone, right beside her the whole time, protecting her and helping her even though she was a royal lazy bitch who did nothing but complain. He didn't get that his visits were the only thing that could make her happy. He didn't understand that the only time she smiled, even a little bit, was when she thought about him. Because it took them nearly dying for her to realize that she loved him.

And she thought that everything was going in that direction. Boone spent nearly every waking moment with her. When she had an asthma attack, he stayed with her and helped her through it. Everyone thought that Jack saved her, by talking to her and calming her, but that wasn't what happened. What happened was Boone sat in front of her, and just seeing his face made her want to breathe, and it made her fight the pain. They could credit Jack all they wanted…but Jack didn't do shit. It was all Boone. And he stayed with her the whole night, just lying beside her, holding her hand, and reassuring her that everything was going to be all right.

Then, one day, Boone had gone out into the woods to search for Claire, when she had gotten kidnapped. He hadn't come back for a long time, and she had stayed up _all night _waiting for him, until he finally came back the next morning, acting all casual, like nothing had even happened. Shannon had been so happy to see him, that she ran to him and gave him a huge hug. He was surprised, but pleased, and he slept beside her that night, his hand in his, with a huge smile on his face. Shannon didn't sleep, but she watched him instead, smiling at the sight of him so happy. The thought that _she _had the power to do that. To make him smile…that was the best feeling in the world.

Come morning, Boone was gone, off in the woods with that creepy old guy, Locke. He left for long periods of time, going off into the woods and not coming back until sundown, and then leaving again before anyone else was up. Shannon, though she hated to admit it, was crazily jealous. She tried everything she could think of to get him to stay with her, rather than going with Locke. She tried flirting, she tried pretending to be sick, she tried ignoring him. Nothing worked.

So, she pretended to stop caring. And eventually, once she was convinced that he wasn't ever going to come back to her, she even convinced herself that she didn't care. So she found Sayid, and actually found herself developing feelings for him.

Before she had left for a 'romantic surprise' with Sayid, she had found Boone to rub it in his face that she was going.

"I'm going to the beach with Sayid," she had said. He had just looked at her, shrugged, and took a bite of the fruit he was eating.

"And?" he said. Shannon had been hurt, and she had stormed off. He had called her name, but she didn't turn back.

She had wanted him to rage, scream, and fight it. She had wanted him to fight for her. She had wanted him to do _something _that would show her that he still cared. But he didn't. And it was like a huge great weight had been lifted off of her. If he didn't care, why should she? And so she went with Sayid and found herself not caring about Boone at all, and just thinking about Sayid.

* * *

It was perfect. The perfect ending to a perfect day. Hand in hand, strolling along the beach, stomachs full and their hearts happy. It was like the corny ending to a faerie tale. She loved it.

There was a huge crowd gathered near the beach. Shannon got nervous at first, but then she saw that they were all happy. She looked at Sayid.

"I wonder what they're so happy about," she said.

"Look!" Sayid exclaimed, gesturing with his head. "Look at Claire."

Shannon looked and saw Claire standing at the center of the group, holding a small, wrinkled baby.

"Oh my God!" Shannon squealed. "She had the baby!"

She looked at Sayid, and saw him looking at her with a small smile.

"She's all right," he said, sounding surprised.

"I know," Shannon laughed. "Sometimes I think that getting stuck here was the best thing that ever happened to me."

Sayid grinned. Suddenly, Shannon noticed that someone was walking towards her. As he got closer, and the glare of the sun behind him was blocked, she saw that it was Jack. And he _wasn't_ smiling.

"Shannon," he said when he reached them, looking at her with genuinely sorrowful eyes. "I…I have something that I need to tell you."

"What?" Shannon asked, getting slightly nervous.

"It's about Boone," Jack said softly, and he looked down at the ground. Fear pierced through Shannon's heart, and she found herself gasping for breath.

"What happened?" she asked, beginning to panic.

"He…he's dead."

The words hit her like a slap in the face. She took a step backwards, dropping Sayid's hand.

"No," she murmured, shaking her head. "No, no, no…"

"I'm sorry," Jack said. Shannon shook her head more violently.

"You're lying," she said. "This is all some big joke, and it's _not funny_."

"He died a couple of hours ago," Jack said, so softly that Shannon hardly heard him.

"_Where is he?_" Shannon asked, practically screeching.

"The caves," Jack replied. "But I don't think you want to…"

Shannon didn't stay to hear any more. Sayid tried to put a hand out to stop her, but she just pulled out of his grasp and ran, faster than she had ever run in her entire life, in the direction of the caves.

* * *

When she got there, the caves were empty and still. There was no noise except the far off calls of some birds. Shannon looked around frantically for Boone. Then she saw the white divider on the other side. She ran towards it, and peeked around it.

There he was, just lying there as peacefully as if he were sleeping. Shannon saw a stool next to the makeshift bed and sat down on it, looking down at him quietly.

"Boone?" she said hesitantly. He didn't respond. He didn't move. "Boone. Please. You can't do this."

He still didn't move. Damn him for not moving. Shannon felt a lump growing in her throat, but she willed it back down. Her hands hovered in the air over his body, itching to touch him, but afraid to do so. He was so still, so quiet…she didn't want him to be cold. She knew that if he were cold…then she would lose it. And she couldn't. She had to be strong. She had to pretend that she didn't care.

She put her hands down limply at her sides instead, and stared at him. She thought about their last conversation, about how she had been trying to make him jealous. About how she had trying to get a reaction out of him that was something other than indifference. And she had run away when he didn't, but he had called her back. But her and her damn stubbornness wouldn't let her answer the call, and she kept going, right into the arms of Sayid.

She had been so in love with Sayid only a few hours before, but with Boone in front of her, motionless and completely silent, she hated him. She hated him for being alive when Boone was dead. Boone, who had always been able to make her feel like a princess, even though she deserved so much less. Boone, who had always loved her despite her faults. He was the only one she would ever truly love, and she knew it then…too late for it to do any good.

"Boone, please," she whimpered, practically shaking with the effort of holding in her tears. "You can't do this to me. You know you can't. You can't leave me here. Alone. Please, Boone."

But his face didn't move. It faced straight upward, as if mocking her. As if trying to teach her that it was her fault that everything was happening. And it was. If she had only turned back when he called her name…maybe he wouldn't have gotten hurt. Maybe he would still be there, with her.

It was her fault. She had been a bitch. She had used him, abused her power over him, and he had died because of it. He had been looking for an escape from her, had found Locke, and had left her.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, the tears starting to fall. "Boone, please. I'm sorry. Just don't leave me here."

When he didn't move again, she began to get angry. Not at Boone, or at God, or at anything else that might have caused his death. She got mad at herself. She hated herself. She wanted herself to be the one lying under that blanket. She wanted to be dead, and she wanted Boone to be alive.

"Why did I have to be such a bitch?" she asked, a sob escaping her. "God, what did I do to you, Boone? How…how did you _feel_?"

Questions that should have been asked long ago, but she was only asking them once he could no longer answer her.

"God, trust me to do something like this. To realize something so…so fucking _huge_ when it's…"

She couldn't continue. She could only sob brokenly, her hands over her face. Her hands couldn't bear it any longer, and they attached themselves to him. His hair, his face, his blanket-covered body. Everything that was so familiar to her.

"_Why do you have to leave me_?" she screamed wildly. "_I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Now please just don't go! Please just stay here! I need you!_"

She was grabbing at him, trying to find a good hold on him so she could pull him up into her arms. He came loosely, like a limp doll. She stumbled backwards and fell to the ground, and he fell with her. She pulled him into her arms and clutched him, sobbing and rocking him back and forth, hands running over his face. He was bloody, but she didn't care. Her hands didn't matter any more. Her perfect nails could go to hell. She just wanted Boone.

"I love you, Boone. I'm so sorry. I do. I love you. You can't leave me now! It's not fair! _It's not fair!_"

Jack and Sayid both appeared at the same time, looking shocked at the sight of her on the ground, holding Boone to her chest and sobbing uncontrollably. She ignored them.

"You can't do this! Why would you do this? Why would you take him from me?"

"Shannon," Jack said calmly, but Shannon just whirled on him, hands cradling and protecting Boone.

"Don't touch him!" she screamed. "Leave me alone! Leave me alone! I hate you! I hate you!"

The look on Jack's face was pure pain, but Shannon didn't care. It could never match what she was feeling. Looking down at Boone, she could no longer speak, but could only wail and cry.

* * *

Three days passed. Shannon didn't move from Boone's grave, except to get food and water. She wasn't wasting away, she'd tell the others. She was eating. She just didn't want to do anything else except sit and talk to Boone.

Though she did wish that she could hold him. Even if he was cold and limp, she still wanted to look at him. She still wanted to run her fingers through his hair like she never got to do. She wanted to look at his peaceful face and see what she could never have. Most of all, she wanted to see him smile. And that was the hardest to go without.

Sayid had stopped trying. She was glad, because she didn't want anyone to bother her. Because she loved Boone. And she would never, ever let him go.

At the end of the third day, Claire came walking through the grass towards her, holding the little baby boy in her arms. She smiled at Shannon hesitantly, but Shannon didn't smile back.

"Hi," Claire said nervously.

"Hi," Shannon replied.

"Do you…mind?" Claire asked. Shannon shrugged and patted the ground next to her. Claire sat down with a smile and looked at Shannon carefully.

"What is it?" Shannon asked, gesturing to the baby.

"A boy," Claire replied. Shannon nodded sadly. Boone had always loved children.

"What did you name it?" Shannon asked. "Charlie?"

She gave Claire a teasing nudge; the most positive emotion she had shown since finding out about Boone.

"No," Claire said, giving a shy smile. "Actually, that's what I came to tell you about."

"Oh?" Shannon asked curiously.

"I thought for the longest time about what to name my boy," Claire said. "All three days…I've been thinking. But now…there's only one thing I _can _name it. It lodged itself into my brain and won't go away."

"And what would that be?" Shannon asked. Claire gave her a small smile.

"Boone," she said lovingly. And Shannon finally was able to smile.

And so that night, sitting alone by the gravesite, arms spread over the freshly dug dirt, Shannon told Boone all about it, and she knew that if she could see him, he would be smiling too.


End file.
